The” Egoistick” maniac
Something nudged me from behind; I
ignored it as I my gaze was transfixed at the work of art before me, then
again, this time at the neck. My charitable instincts told me to turn around
and help the old man with the walking stick (for there is never an old lady in
the stories; they are created to be forever young!) and I did turn but to my
utter dismay, there was no old man but a young couple hand in hand with a
protruding rod and a Goddamn device at the end of it, facing them. They were
pouting, smiling, kissing at the gadget and of course poking and provoking all
around them! The pedagogical mind coerced me to action and in a jiffy, I yanked
the rod and whacked the self obsessed deuce black and blue – well all the
Jackie Chan action was in the mind only. Getting back to senses, for better or
for worse, I know not, I shooed them away like a crow that has just splashed
white excrement on my newly laundered shirt! But they rambled on at their own
sweet pace oblivious of the surroundings – the place, the purpose and the
plight of people around them!
The ruling passion of the
day, for ignoramuses like me, was taught the hard way by the brood as it seemed
to be omnipresent....in malls, in multiplexes, in stadiums, in places of
interest, in food courts, in schools and colleges, well literally everywhere
and soon it was implanted in my bird brain that this “rod” was called the
selfie stick and the device attached to the end of it was a device with camera,
it could be a mobile, a tablet or a pad. I soon realized that after the
creation of Adam and Eve and the discovery that Earth was round, the third most
important invention of man had to be the mobile with all the paraphernalia! The
compulsive disorder to click, click and click and then to share, share and
share and be liked, liked and liked is the most popular activity of this
“narcissistic era”! And the mobile makers too made hay while the sun shone by
adding xxxx megapixel into the front camera. The days of autographs are long
gone, now it is the dictum of selfies and groupfies that governs – from Prime
ministers to celebrities in any field to the “aam aadmi”, the stamp of
remembrance or sharing space takes the form of getting into the frame. Zooming in, one admires every contour and
admonishes the flaws - hair ruffled,
lips too full, or a pimple peeping out of the cheek, or yellow teeth and then begins the untiring effort to
rediscover and enhance the picture with all sorts of “tools “that are available
which crops, cuts, brightens and adds special effects to the portrait! God save
his never satisfied creations, who are turning out to be self centred, obsessed
and gloating with their selves! The extreme infatuation with one’s physiognomy shows
no partiality or discrimination and covers everyone, like in seven stages of
man, from the thumb sucking infant to the kid who spends his first day at
school ready to let his tear glands work, the bubbly teenager, the starry eyed
lover , the newlywed and the person ready to kick the bucket!
Welcome the new age self
loving, egocentric narcissistic maniac for whom the thing of beauty lies within
the photo frame in the stick-held. Man, in his quest for monomania, invented
the stick and substituted it for the long, tired and pained outstretched arms
to simplify the self glorification process! This frenzy of vain glory drives
nincompoops like me into fits of fury and all I can do is cast a sardonic glance
at the avant-garde fools behind the outlandish stick!
